Who's with Who? (oneshot)
by XinXang
Summary: Some Bleach characters gather together to discuss the 'couple issue'. Agree and disagree with them as you read :D


Who's with who?

* * *

It was quiet, too quiet considering the fact that it was only the middle of the day.

A brief cough was made reminding everyone that they were thinking about this too seriously. 'So…who's going to start off first?' Sasakibe started off signalling his position in the conversation.

Not hearing the clear question Matsumoto decided to break the ice. 'Who's gonna start off first then?!'

Sasakibe resided to his corner of silence.

Renji cleared his throat. He hadn't realized what he had gotten himself into. He still didn't understand what the question was asking exactly, but it was made clear by the all too open Yoruichi. 'Who fits well with who? Basically, who's a couple! I'll start then!'

Soifon hid her face, Yoruichi was way too forward. 'Wait…Yoruichi-sama…I-I think we need some time to figure this out.'

Matsumoto smirked as she swung an arm comfortably over Soifon's shoulders, too comfortably for Soifon, who knew what Matsumoto was thinking. 'Figure what out?'

Rukia kept her arms folded and her eyes closed. She regretted letting Renji talk her into coming even when he didn't have the faintest idea what this was about. The 1st, 4th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 11th, 12th and 13th division Captains wouldn't attend, leaving their vice-captains to attend by themselves. Rukia should've known better.

'This is a waste of time. Yumichika, let's go.' Ikkaku got up with Yumichika not far behind and walked out of the room. Yachiru pouted as she attempted to get her squad members to stay, but was soon out of the door too.

Kira and Hisagi both looked at each other. They cursed their habit of succumbing to the pleas of Matsumoto so easily without questioning her. What they needed now was an opportunity to leg it out of the room.

'I think we should start from the 1st Division to the last.' Every one turned their attention to the voice. Hinamori rarely spoke up, but when she does things get rolling.

'Alright!' Matsumoto started with a huff, 'Yamamoto Genryuusai.'

'Matsumoto! Know your place!'

'Lighten up Soifon. This is an informal meeting.'

'Hai, Yoruichi-sama."

Isane started off the pairing by suggesting that her Captain and Yamamoto make a good match. Everyone easily agreed with the pair and moved onto the next division.

Sasakibe walked out of the room, hurt and unwanted.

Soifon kept her head down as everyone began to think about whom the 2nd Division Captain and Vice-captain should be paired with. Surprisingly, Yoruichi kept her mouth shut for this one. A few seconds past without anyone suggesting a pair, because everyone thought the same, but didn't feel comfortable voicing their decision. Matsumoto had to step in. 'Well, I think Soifon and Yoruichi make a good pair. I'm sure Soifon agrees.'

Soifon shifted in her seat as Yoruichi began to laugh. 'I don't mind me and Soifon being a pair!' She continued to laugh as the red hue on Soifon's face became visible all the way up to her ears.

'Oomaeda and his money-food relationship is fine. Everyone agree?' Nods were made and so the pairing continued. 'Kira.'

Nanao fixed her glasses telling everyone that she had a suggestion. 'This is clearly from observation and accounts from…people, but Kira and Hisagi make a good pair.' All in the room had to take time to process what had just been said. Kira and Hisagi? Both men shifted uncomfortably in their seats as the very idea of being a couple made them shiver to the bone. Everyone shook their heads as they too shivered at the thought, leaving Nanao embarrassed as she exited the room. Her pleasures were revealed.

'I think Kira and Hinamori.' Iba said with a short nod.

'Vice-captain Hinamori goes with Captain Hitsugaya.' Isane blurted out remembering to keep her formalities.

'They're more like brother and sister. Are you for incest Vice-captain Isane?' Iba replied with a gasp. The two carried on their debate until they were interrupted.

'Well, I've been thinking that Rukia and Byakuya make a good pair and they're like bro and sis.' Shocked with Oomaeda's suggestion but totally agreeing, everyone raised their hands in approval, everyone except said sister of Byakuya and Vice-captain of said Captain.

'That is unacceptable! M-me and N-nii-sama?!' Rukia shouted out despite the redness that was visible on her face.

'I agree with Rukia! Not her and Byakuya! Her and Renji!' Renji blushed at the statement made by Yoruichi as he glanced over at Rukia to see her reaction.

Rukia frowned. 'Yoruichi?! That's foolishness.' Renji sighed in disappointment at the confession. Yeah, this meeting was a joke, but he still thought that he would make a good pair with Rukia. No one else seemed to fit her perfectly except-

'I disagree with all of you.' Nemu walked in sitting on a spare seat beside Matsumoto. 'From observation in the 12th squad barracks, it is clear that Kuchiki Rukia is more suited to be with Kurosaki Ichigo.'

'Bingo!' Matsumoto clapped her hands. 'I agree.'

'What?!' Renji jumped up, receiving stares in return. 'I-I mean…whaaaat did you say? You were kinda…quiet.' Sitting back down Renji frowned as he was forced to hear the statement again. He cringed at the thought of Ichigo taking his Rukia away from him.

Iba stroked his moustache. 'Speaking of Ichigo, isn't there also a chance that he could be paired with Inoue?'

'No. No. No.' Soifon hit the table with every syllable. 'They are not compatible at all. If Inoue was to be paired with anyone, it would either be Ishida or Ulquiorra or Grimmjow.'

'Nope, I think Ichigo goes better with Grimmjow. Then again, Ulquiorra goes with Grimmjow…' Matsumoto ranted on.

'Either way, Ichigo would have a hard time with Inoue.'

'And you're saying that Rukia and Ichigo wouldn't have a hard time Captain Soifon?' Renji asked with furrowed eyebrows. Rukia thought this whole thing was ridiculous.

'Rukia, ever since she gave her powers to Ichigo, has been connected to the boy in a way that no one else can imagine. Their bond cannot be broken. Fade to Black is just a prime example of the bond they have – everyone forgets about Rukia, but wait! Ichigo is the only one that doesn't! Coincidence? I think not!'

'…' Renji couldn't deny that this was true. Rukia and Ichigo share something that he could only dream of having. He would always take note of the look on Ichigo's face whenever Rukia was mentioned or when he saw her after a long time away from her. He hated that.

Matsumoto had to get everyone back on track as it was evident that they were drifting. But it was also evident that everyone wanted to talk about the interesting couples. 'Alright then. Give me your thoughts on this. Byakuya and Kenpachi? Uh? Beauty and the Beast.'

'Who's the beast?' Renji asked, not seeing the beauty in any of them.

'Byakuya of course, with his pretty sakura. Just imagine him surrounded by the brightest of cherry blossoms~ ahhh~ Such beauty.'

Rukia agreed silently with Matsumoto.

'Opposites attract.' Isane pointed out.

Renji shook his head. 'Byakuya is also a beast. I don't see them working out.' Wait, why wasn't he mentioning the fact that they are both guys?!

Matsumoto sighed before moving onto the next pairing she had in mind, Ikkaku and Yumichika.

Yoruichi laughed as the thought came into her head. 'I think we have another Nanao here. Didn't know you like yaoi.'

'Who doesn't?' Matsumoto replied deeming her hobby as nothing out of the ordinary.

Iba had to be the one to speak out for this one. 'Well, Yumichika does follow Ikkaku everywhere he goes when he is called…I think I agree. They would fit together.'

'I actually agree with that.' Hisagi agreed hesitantly along with Kira and Hinamori. They found it weird how right Ikkaku and Yumichika complimented each other.

Silence followed as more pairings were being thought up. 'Yoruichi and Urahara.' Renji continued receiving a glare from Soifon, who disliked everything about 'that man'.

Everyone stroked their moustache/imaginary moustache, as the names seem to fit perfectly together anyway. Rukia supported the pairing due to her observation of the couple.

'Me and Kisuke?' Yoruichi laughed like she had been doing before. 'We're childhood friends.'

'Childhood friends suit each other more since they know about each other more.' Renji pointed out with a flick of his finger. Also pointing that fact to him and Rukia. Upon the agreement of each individual besides Soifon, the pairing meeting continued.

'Wait…who else is there?' Matsumoto asked, trying her best at thinking of more interesting couples. Everyone thought, but couldn't come up with any. 'I do have more pairings in mind actually.'

'Yeah, yaoi pairings.' Yoruichi added with a smirk. The men in the group looked only at the table in front of them. All they wanted was to run out of the meeting as soon as they walked in.

Matsumoto naturally took lead in the conversation with Yoruichi not too far behind. 'Renji and Byakuya!'

'EH?! No way! No way in hell!' Renji shouted waving his hands in fronts of him as if trying to get rid of the suggestion from the air.

Isane thought hard about this one. 'I think it could work, even though Vice-captain Abarai sees Captain Kuchiki as a rival, I think there is something there.'

'Right!' Matsumoto and Yoruichi agreed in unison. Nemu along with the other girls agreed with a slight nod, even Rukia nodded. Renji looked horrified.

'That's it. Guys, lets go!' Renji stormed out of the room angry that no one agreed about him and Rukia being a pair, but instead him and his captain. Hisagi, Kira and Iba thankfully walked out the room leaving the girls to themselves. Oomaeda decided to walk out since his packet of crisps were finished.

'What about the Espada's?' Nemu asked looking around at the remaining individuals.

Soifon furrowed her eyebrows. 'What about them? We're not going to pair up anyone in soul society with the enemy.'

Matsumoto rolled her eyes. 'No harm done, right Yoruichi?'

'I don't see why not.'

Nemu continued on since it was her suggestion, 'Kurosaki Ichigo and Nelliel Tu Odelschwanc.'

'How the heck did you manage to say her name?' Matsumoto asked in disbelief. 'All the Espada's have some tongue twister names. Anyway, so what about Ichigo and Nelliel then?'

Rukia shrugged. 'I don't think there's much to work with there.'

'Jealousy?' Yoruichi added as she nudged Rukia on the side.

'Not one bit. I've had enough of this. Excuse me.' Rukia got up and was about to leave when someone obstructed the door. 'N-nii-sama!'

Matsumoto sensed this wasn't going to end well. She knew Renji told on them. 'I heard that my name was being used in a manner that I will not be pleased about-'

'Oh lighten up little Byakuya! We're just having a girly talk.' Yoruichi said with confidence. She didn't fear Byakuya like everyone else did, something Byakuya himself hated about the sneaky cat. 'You can join us if you want to—'

Everyone lowered their heads. When Yoruichi gets going, trouble is in the midst.

'—We were discussing before that you and Renji make a good pair, then we were thinking about you and Kenpachi—'

Rukia shook her head quickly at Yoruichi, but the sly cat wasn't listening one bit. Isane never felt so awkward in her life. She managed to take refuge behind Matsumoto.

'—but of course, you'd be the women in the relationship—'

That was it. Rukia looked up at her brother and saw the veins poking out from his temple. Byakuya was pissed. Never before did he feel so humiliated and emasculated.

'Ban-Kai.'

'Time to go ladies!' Matsumoto ordered as she jumped from her seat. Yoruichi was already out the door, Byakuya and Soifon not too far behind her. Rukia sighed, she knew this was going to happen, but at least the meeting ended. Nemu said her goodbyes and left with Isane.

'Well, that was eventful…but who am I paired with?' Matsumoto asked with a pout.

Rukia looked at Matsumoto before walking out the door. 'You and Hisagi.'

'Eh?! What about me and Ichigo? We both have orange hair! Matte!'

Over in Kurakura town, in Kurakura highschool, in one of the classrooms…

Orihime took at more tissues from her school bag to help out a friend. 'Want more tissue Kurosaki-kun? You seem to be sneezing a lot.'

'Yeah…thanks, Inoue.'

* * *

A/N: Everyone must hate me for not updating 'Love Your Enemies'. But i am seriously stuck! i don't know how to continue! I'm drowning in a pit of writer's block! \(^O^\)


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